Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
