you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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