No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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