I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
