I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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