i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
