She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
