you guys were way drunker than both of me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
