ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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