I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
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