"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You pole danced in your parka.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
