The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize