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How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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