nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress