wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't deserve a penis
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.