I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I love you. Go after that dick
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
