Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
