also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
