Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
