i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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