That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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