Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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