we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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