I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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