"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
