you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
