You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
