So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
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the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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