No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
