thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
