Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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