grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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