The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
