Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Vodka?
Forever.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
