I murdered the dance floor call the cops
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
