I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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