She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
