Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize