i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
