When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize