I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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