Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
