We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
