Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
