whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
