My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
