im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
