he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
