listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize