So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
