4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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