jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
