im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
