you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
