We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
