remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
