omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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