Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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