I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
