He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
