The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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