it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
