I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
