and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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