Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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