Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
