Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
