That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
