just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
