the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
True strength comes from lack of pants
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
