He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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