I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
