I think i peed on brittanys purse
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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