they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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